CWDP 2017: Eiko

[iprotectyou]

The wooden slats on the bench in the sauna dig into Baze's thighs, but he doesn't mind at all. He melts in the heat so wet he feels like he's swimming while sitting.

He knows he's dreaming, but the whole thing feels so real. In the nature of dreams, Chirrut isn't with him, and then he is. Baze opens his eyes, and tastes emotion: peace and contentment. They taste of watermelon and hard candy, respectively. He smiles at his friend, and raises his hand to wave.

Then, her. She isn't with them, and then she is, wearing a yellow, polka-dotted swimsuit.

"Baze? Chirrut?" Eiko says, and Baze's heart leaps in his chest. She picks at the two-piece. "What's this thing?"

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[iprotectyou]

Baze wakes abruptly, in the cool darkness of the temple room at Milliways. The Force is gone; all he tastes is sour dryness. Eiko is gone; ghosted away as if she were never there. He can still hear her laughter.

Tears flow unabated from his eyes, and roll down his cheeks to splash on his pillow. He pushes Chirrut's foot off Baze's chest and sits up, intending to draw his friend against the larger Guardian's chest once he, too, wakes.

[idontneedluck]

When Chirrut opens his eyes, it makes no difference to his world. His surroundings have retreated into forms he understands - the warmth of the bed, the close-echoing sound of a small stone room, the agony of a broken heart. He wants to shove it back into its corner, but the wound is old enough to have lost its numbness, but fresh enough to bleed freely. He wants to curl in on himself, but there's someone else to consider.

"Baze" He reaches out an almost-desperate hand, not entirely sure what he'll do with himself if Baze fades to mist as well.

[iprotectyou]

Baze takes that hand, and presses a kiss to the palm.

"Chirrut, she's--" Baze starts, but only gets that far before he chokes. He sobs, tugging Chirrut close and wrapping a meaty arm around his neck.

[idontneedluck]

Chirrut clings as he does so rarely, keening softly at the pain of it. He didn't tell her he was sorry he wasn't there, wasn't thinking of her when she died. He didn't tell her he was sorry he never found her, never knew to search until he knew she was gone.

He hopes she knows anyway.

[iprotectyou]

Baze has only seen Eiko twice in the last twenty years: a few, brief moments before she died, and a few, brief moments now, in a dream that was more than a dream. It's not enough. It never will be. He could dream of her for the rest of his existence, and he'd still be greedy for her presence. How cruel Milliways is, to give them a taste of her, and to take her away again.

Still. Baze is glad that he and Chirrut had that taste.

Baze cries himself hoarse. Taking a cue from Eiko, he gently scratches Chirrut's scalp.